Find yourself tempted to say %$#@ and !@$& too often? The Elizabethan equivalents are much more fun and don't make parents with children glare at you in restaurants. You could say "fie" or you could swear by "Toran's teeth." Combine one word from each of the three columns below (or omit either Column 1 or Column 2, or both, for just a quick jab), prefaced with "Thou":

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Column 1Column 2 Column 3
artlessbase-courtapple-john
bawdybat-fowling baggage
beslobberingbeef-wittedbarnacle
bootlessbeetle-headedbladder
churlishboil-brainedboar-pig
cockereddismal-dreamingclotpole
dissemblingdizzy-eyedcoxcomb
droningdogheartedcodpiece
errant>dread-bolteddeath-token
fawningearth-vexingdewberry
fobbingelf-skinnedflap-dragon
frowardfat-kidneyedflax-wench
>frothyfen-suckedflirt-gill
gleekingflap-mouthedfoot-licker
goatish>fly-bittenfustilarian
gorbelliedfolly-fallengiglet
impertinentfool-borngudgeon
infectiousfull-gorgedhaggard
jarringguts-gripingharpy
loggerheadedhalf-facedhedge-pig
lumpishhasty-wittedhorn-beast
mammeringhedge-bornhugger-mugger
>mangledhell-hatedjolthead
mewlingidle-headedewdster
paunchyill-breedinglout
pribblingill-nurturedmaggot-pie
pukingknotty-patedmalt-worm
punymilk-liveredmammet
quailingmotley-mindedmeasle
rankonion-eyedminnow
reekyplume-pluckedmiscreant
roguishpottle-deepmoldwarp
ruttishpox-markedmumble-news
saucyreeling-ripenut-hook
spleenyrough-hewnpigeon-egg
spongyrude-growingpignut
surlyrump-fedputtock
totteringshard-bornepumpion
unmuzzledsheep-bitingratsbane
vain>spur-galledscut
venomedswag-belliedskainsmate
villainoustardy-gaitedstrumpet
warpedtickle-brainedvarlet
waywardtoad-spottedvassal
weedyurchin-snoutedwhey-face
yeastyweather-bittenwagtail